In what was a proud and embarrassing moment for NLA Sports, the boys of NLA took first place in the 8th Annual Peninsula Pride Caged Dodgeball Tournament in Newport Beach. And in doing so, decided to come dressed as the rejected cast of the film Magic Mike.
“I just can’t believe I didn’t come up with the idea sooner,” explained captain Jason Vagley. “I don’t know how many times women have told me they’ve gone blind when I take off my clothes – so naturally that would be a tremendous dodgeball advantage when you’re opponent can’t see you.”
Making up this lack of thunder from down under included Brian Weingart, Isaac Fatigoni, Jon Bohrer, Robert Rico, and Dave Fayette. No, that is not a misprint. Dave Fayette was on the team.
“Truth be told, I wasn’t recruited for my dodgeball skills,” explained Fayette. “They just needed another guy who was okay with getting naked with a bunch of dudes, and I was like ‘hey, that’s totally me – like oh my gawd!’ ”
The strategy worked. Nobody could stand to look at the boys. Adding the shiny gold shorts that reflected the bright sun insured that even the happiest of boys would have trouble seeing.
A strategy that didn’t work? Bohrer’s attempt to “man up” his outfit with an arm-sleeve and knee-pads.
Declared Weingart, “I’m actually impressed. Considering how gay we already looked, Jon somehow found a way to gay it up even more to the point that we looked straight.”
Nice try Brian, but not quite. Not quite.
UPDATE: Ladies, so that you do not completely lose hope in the beautiful masculinity of men, here’s the trailer to Magic Mike. You’re welcome.